Goodbye.

I am re-posting this because it echoes my soul. And because I wanted to save it for myself for present and future reference and didn’t know where would be a good spot. This is a good spot.

lifeinaheadscarf

As 2015 nears the finishing line, I feel it necessary- nay, incumbent– to write a sort of farewell to the year. Well, not really to the year, but to everything I’m going to be leaving behind in it.

That ‘everything’ includes people. Or rather, my relationships with certain people, since the people themselves will too be moving forward to a clean slate and a new year.

I think for as long as I can remember I’ve had this absolute fixation with friendships and an obsession with keeping all relationships that I am in, alive and well.

Through my life, this has led me to hold onto a lot of relationships that were not necessarily working out for me- in fact, they were downright bad.

And it’s so tough to admit it. I’ve gotten close to a lot of people in my short 22 years (well, almost 22.

And…

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NaPoWriMo Day 24: The Suckiest One of Them All

The Sucky Poem

Day twenty-four
Is sucky, for sure.
It kept me blocked for four days—
No, more.
I couldn’t go any further,
Until I wrote with fervour,
About how I hate day twenty-four.

I mean, to write a poem with anagrams—
Of my own name—
Is not a fun game.

The end.

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Do It. Before It’s Too Late.

Change. It’s one of the hardest words in the English dictionary. No, not to spell, or to say, or to understand; but to do, to be. I’m sure we all recognise the fact that we’re not perfect, and we might sometimes be in denial about the mistakes we make or the wrong things we do or say, and we don’t really know how to change it. How do we stop doing what we do? How do we stop thinking the way we think, and behaving the way we behave, especially when it might be all we’ve ever known? And sometimes we don’t even believe we need to change. Change is not easy, but the soldier’s journey along this rocky and arduous path begins with acknowledging the need for change–the need within the self, not within others, or in the world, but within your own world, your own heart. One of my favourite quotes sums this up most eloquently:

“Be the change you want to see in the world.” -Mahatma Gandhi

And that reminds me of a quote by another man who inspires me, Boonaa Mohammed (maa-shaa-Allah, may Allah reward him and increase him, ameen). In his poem, Kill Them With Love, he says:

“I’ma [sic] be that change–improve everyday to prove that rudeness is lame.”

Now that’s the kind of change I’m talking about. The kind  that doesn’t talk about changing the world, or changing everyone else so that they’re more like you, thinking the way you think, believing what you believe. It’s the change that looks inward. It’s the hardest type of change, and the only way we can make this change is if we do it for the right reason, and if we seek the right Help (Allah). We cannot do it alone.

As I discussed in my previous post, I attended the widely acclaimed Strangers Tour last weekend (alhamdulillah), and I said that I would share with you some of the lessons/reminders I had left with that night. One of those reminders is this: change, before it’s too late–for me, the most profound one of them all. How many days do we have left in this life? How many hours… minutes? Do you know?

As Boonaa Mohammed says very succinctly in his poem, ‘Too Late’, which he performed at the Tour last Sunday:

“You’re dying, but you haven’t died yet;

But with every single heartbeat you get closer to your final breath.

Heaven and Hell are just the choices that we make;

So turn back to you Lord, before it’s too late.”

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Share your thoughts with me below. Yes, do it. It’s the right thing to do.