Saving Private Does-Not-Want-To-Be-Saved

Have you ever gotten it into your head before that you can save somebody? Have you ever believed that you were that special person who would rescue that friend that you cared and worried so much about? You would be the one to show your friend that there is hope, that there is a better way. You would inspire that friend and be the reason she wanted to be saved. You would save her. You.

Really? You? What makes you think you’re so special? What makes you think that all the bad decisions that person has made, all the wrong roads that person has taken, were by accident, and that she was just waiting for you to come along with your in-built GPS, directing her to the “right road“? What makes you think that you could be the road map to righteousness and reformation? Are you even righteous and reformed yourself? How ridiculously self-righteous of you.

We cannot change anyone. We cannot save anyone who a) does not want to be saved, and b)–much more obviously, and much more significantly–Allah does not want us to save. Everyone’s road is set out for them. It might be the wrong road for us to take on our journey, but it is precisely the right road for that traveller’s journey. Our understanding of what is ‘right’ and ‘wrong’ may be slightly warped–or maybe only mine is. I used to believe in what-is-right-for-me-is-right-for-you. But it’s not. What is right for me may be right for you–some day. But not today. Today, I need to let you take your own road. Go your own way, travel your own journey. If we do not, ultimately, end up travelling the same road, I will know that I had at least told you about the road I was on, I had shown you some of the treasures I had found along the way–and that is all I can do. If you choose not to take the same road, that is your decision. And I cannot change it. No matter how much I wish for it.

So, go your way. May it lead to something great. And pray for me that my road, too, leads me to a beautiful destination. Ameen.


Have you ever experienced (what I like to call) the Saviour Complex? Were you successful in your ‘mission’? Share your thoughts with me below.


2 thoughts on “Saving Private Does-Not-Want-To-Be-Saved

  1. Once – but I didn’t consider myself to be the ‘saviour’ in the sense that only I could save the person. I tried, and perhaps used the wrong approach because the reaction was vicious, and it severely damaged a relationship that was already getting weaker.

    It hurt me a lot, but I know that it was my duty to make the effort – and I did that. It hurts that the person didn’t even want to be open-minded; but all I could do after that was keep making dua. And remember that this happened to the best person ever to walk the earth – the Prophet s.a.w. couldn’t get his uncle to revert. So that’s a reminder that it’s only Allah that turns the hearts and guides – it’s not up to us.

    In the meantime, though, the best we can do is make dua that Allah will put – in that person’s life – an event that serves as a catalyst to turn them. And we should try to be positive, living reflections of our deen –in the hopes that that will influence the person too – though obviously being extremely careful to be sensitive and not come across as forceful.

    JazakAllah for this post.

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